Sorry

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Every Instagram story says.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
We didn’t do enough.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

What are you saying sorry for?
For not giving in when negotiations ask for more?
For risking our lives to save instead of agreeing to a bad deal?
For resisting when the empire tried to take the wheel?
For not capitulating and surrendering for the sake of quiet?
For not giving up control of land that we were thrown from?
For refusing to restore the status quo that brought this hell on?
Yet in the spirit of Elul and taking responsibility,
I too want to say sorry with a genuine apology.

I’m sorry that we ever gave up Gaza to international pressure.
I’m sorry that we were reliant on the American Empire.
I’m sorry that our identity crisis kept us from true peace.
I’m sorry that we related to the land as real estate.
I’m sorry that we couldn’t provide a better vision,
That for months last year, we roiled in deep internal division.
I’m sorry that our trauma remains severely untreated.
I’m sorry that the only image of of a strong Jew meant another was defeated.

I’m sorry Hersh, that we couldn’t internalize your justice orientation.
I’m sorry that it became at odds with fighting for the nation.

I’m sorry Eden, that your courage could not be applied.
That the biggest anger elicited is when newspapers said you died.

I’m sorry Carmel, that your giving nature was exploited to raise the cost of bringing you home.
That every time they said “עכשיו”, your return was postponed.

I’m sorry Alex, that you heard about the birth of your son,
From a part of our homeland that we still should run.

I’m sorry Almog, that the land you loved was commodified to a bargaining chip.
That half the country doesn’t care about taking back the strip.

I’m sorry Ori, that the streets of your childhood became a battleground for our collective soul.
That our nation turned on itself, confused about our role.

I’m sorry that your deaths will only lead to blaming those who sought your rescue.
That international media is following their cue.

I’m sorry that your martyrdom won’t be recognized in the short term.