Midnight Lament

My harp is shattered
strings snapped and neck warped
the picture of dissonance and distension
but still my mouth opens
to offer song to the G-d of my life

the hymns of doves are no longer heard in Your towers
the music of the wind rushes through Your alleys
out of tune, setting the heart off beat

the streets wail, tears pool
rising up through the limestone
your silence is oppressive
breaking bones

Let my ears be open, rid me of my deafness, O G-d!
How much
How much longer can we stumble,
blind and mute
grasping at ourselves for stability
as one by one
limbs fail and eyes dim
tongues cloven to the roofs of mouths
breath halted in the depths of our lungs
Your silence is the silence of the grave
our silence is the repose of the pit

You promised
To never stop singing
And I believe You
Forever

We promised
To never stop listening
To dance every moment to your symphony
and You believe us
To the ends of the world

Why can’t I hear?
Where are my eyes?
How deep,
how deep are they buried?

How heavy is silence, the silence of disparate parts
the weight of separation
the load of the downcast and self-obsessed
bound in misery and chains of iron

I scream into the void,
and so do You
and maybe that is Love

You came with us into exile
The sword pierced Your heart
as it did ours
my blood is Yours
my soul is You
spilled on the sapphire floors
in the courtyards of Your Temple

You laugh at foxes
the foxes laugh at us
we laugh at ourselves
and the sun stands still

Do You remember when we used to dance?
The days of my youth, endless steps, endless steps
the rich perfume of the date palms
the heady musk of frankincense
the bitter myrrh and sweet smoke
my tunic was saffron, woven fabric
and your beard purple-tinged
There was no talk of law
of judgement
of edicts and the blade behind them
only our dance
only our promises
whispered and sung
engraved and sealed

Maybe I look too fondly into the past
and my memories are ghosts
of their own invention
Maybe I have put out my own eyes
and the vision of memory blurs
in tandem

I think for a moment on my sins
on the foot I have placed on the throat of justice
my hands leap and my mouth fills with blood
In You there is no injustice
and evils are the works of man

We were created freely,
created to be freed
and now,
outside the garden
as the sword swings
tracing the moon
with You is all I want to be

O Living G-d,
Lord of my sorrows,
comforter of Zion,
do I paint with foreign dreams?
Are my inks pure, my brush clean?
To dip them in your spring, to draw deeply from your wells
sweet waters
to drink and paint and drink again
to see Your face in mine
to write You poems on the walls
to mark this world as you have marked me
With Your heart, your tongue, your will
and bring us all to live as life itself
the breath as fire
to sing and to dance
to be, to be Your praise
beyond our veils
unto Itself
unto You