Fear

“Stay back!” we cry,
Brandishing our weapons point first
Whilst darkness flashes behind our eyes

“Stay down!” we thunder,
Stamping on the necks of a people
Lest they rise to destroy us all

For in our minds, we are huddled in the pit
Shoulders pressed together, awaiting the one
Who will come to swing down his axe upon our heads
Would we but look down in surprise
And see how the blade has passed into our hands

But there is an undercurrent in Jerusalem
Like blood beneath a fountain of water,
And for it I cannot see clearly

It bubbles visions where there were none before
Visions of darkness, echoes of crying children and terrified parents
Until before my eyes, Jerusalem is painted
With the blood of Europe
And it must never happen again

And we take refuge in our walled cities, so long kept from our hands
And every messenger, every envoy sent our way
Are the Romans building a ramp up Masada
Fortifying themselves to destroy our bodies
And we shoot arrows at them

And G-d knows these arrows were forged
In pits black with shadow and molten rage
Blood and fire and pillars of smoke
Cooking together like some ghastly witch’s cauldron
And us, drowning in the bottom
Gasping for air that isn’t there

And G-d knows how we rose from the fire like a phoenix
But unlike the phoenix – we were burned,
And our scars, how they cry out for relief

For there is fear, yes
The strings of my nation’s heart are stretched thinner
Than the tightest bowstring

And the barbs and the biting witticisms
Like darts from the mouths of our enemies
How they tear open our blistered skin
And the pain is deep and real

And it must never happen again

And we raise towers of rock about ourselves
Bedecked with cannons and machine guns on the roofs
All in the name of self-defense
Defense for our rough, raw hearts

And we, the people of the bow
Have become so adept at shooting down our enemies

But

The strings of a Jewish heart
Were never meant for hitting targets
They were meant to play music

Like the harp of King David
Weaving melodies from golden pools of joy,
Like a spring in the desert
Like sunlight on the face of a scared child

My people, how I have longed for you to raise your head
How I have yearned to hear your voice
To hear music playing from your Sanctuary once again

But when they broke the walls surrounding my city
I rebuilt them around my own heart
And now I am protected

Protected? Protected from whom?
From ourselves?
How can we, when the treasures nestled in our soul
Contain more light than all the stars combined?
But my nation’s heart is fluttering
Like a dove in a locked cage,
And I’m afraid what should happen if I set her free

And it must never happen again…

Weep, my dear one, don’t hold them in
Weep for the furrows they ploughed upon your back
For the way they spat and held you at arm’s length
Like a disgusting creature,
Weep for the dirt in your hair and the many evil eyes
and the yellow badges and the false messiahs
and the rivers of blood and the benevolent priest
who tried to speak with Jacob’s voice

Weep, for the plagues of Pharaoh pale in the face
of all you have endured,
For the darkness and the hailstones and the wild animals roaming in the streets
That sent you running for cover
Who wouldn’t run for cover
When the heads of the fourth beast squinted between the houses
Searching for tasty Jews
To snap up and continue its dominion?

We are still running for cover

But these plagues hardened our heart
And we, the heart of the nations
Our heart must be open
As with our hands.

But this people, if I release my clutches
How shall I know they will not gather against me?
Well – have you asked them?

Do you know these people you live atop?
Have you asked them what they mean
When they shout loudly in your ears,
“End the occupation! Down with settler colonialism!”
Do you know who they are?
– Do you know who you are?
Might it not be time
To climb down from our stone towers
And meet them on the lawn?

For I don’t want you to go leaping to the trigger
At every mention of the name “Palestine”,
Nor would I desire
That you drown yourself in their story

I want you to reach inward and uncover your roots
Deep roots, stretching back through
time and space and soil,
Tied to a land – a Tree of Life
Watered by Heaven’s hand
Sowing lights, raising sparks
Twelve tribes gathered round the mountain
To build a kingdom of G-d

I want you to know yourself
Because then, only then, can you know them too

To discover how a land can be loved
And tribes can live in harmony, and enemies can become friends
To realize that yes, it ain’t Europe here
For this time we have power
And history is waiting

My nation, I want for you to wake up –
And all the darkness of exile will fade away
like a bad dream.