I have been waiting to write this
For so, so long
Sitting at my desk and crying
As my soul grasped for something out of reach
Chained by my body to a foreign land
When the time came at last,
I thought it would be easy
This is what I’ve wanted for years!
But it wasn’t quite so simple
There are currents in the Jordan River
threatening to pull you off course
“How will I make a living?”
“Is it safe though?”
“How important is it really?”
Train your eyes on the goal
And you can withstand them
Moreover, the waters will part
But without an anchor
they can sweep you far downstream
(and you may wander in the desert for forty years)
Barukh HaShem,
the currents were withstood
the hurdle was cleared
and here I am on solid ground
Now, at last, I can spread my wings
Is this, I wonder, how a butterfly feels
as it breaks forth from its chrysalis?
Trapped, constricted, in such a narrow place
But alive, and knowing that a greater world lies out there
And never ceasing the struggle
to break into the light
From within the straits I called upon HaShem
He answered me with expansiveness.
And I feel like the bird from David’s song,
Freshly escaped from the hunter’s snare
Beating my wings and breathing hard
Like the bird from Bialik’s song
Returned to Eretz Yisrael after bringing news
of the redemption to the Diaspora,
hoping they will follow me home
And I remember what they told me
“Yesh Lekha Kanfei Ruach” – “You possess wings of spirit”
But you can’t put words to this
I can only stand where those before me stood,
And learn the words they used
“There is no joy other than living in Eretz Yisrael”
Now I know what they meant
Or at least, I will
Now the river is behind me,
And the hills ahead of me
And light all around me
I used to say, “I shall not die”
Now I say, “I shall live”
